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Published on:

3rd Feb 2022

Building a Healthy Relationship with Money

Time is a finite resource, money is not.

It's easy to see what an unhealthy relationship with money looks like, but what are the hallmarks of a healthy relationship? Artists trying to turn their art into a business need to know how to think about, handle, and relate emotionally to the process of earning and spending money.

In this episode, you'll hear artists talk about:

  • The difference between obsessing over money and monitoring money
  • Money as an infinite resource
  • Chasing money vs generating money
  • Money as a facilitator, not a goal

If you want to learn more about THIS TOPIC you can find it here: (replace with links to previous episode topic or related episode)

Learn more about how to think like an artist on The Artist's Forge, and join our growing community of artists on Facebook.

Want to know more about the hosts?

Nicole York

Matt Stagliano

Cat Ford-Coates

Bassam Sabbagh

Bekka Bjorke

Transcript
Matt Stagliano:

Hi, this is Matt Stagliano and thanks for being

Matt Stagliano:

part of the artists Forge. We're a community of creatives who

Matt Stagliano:

help each other think like an artist. By discussing creativity

Matt Stagliano:

as a process instead of a skill or a talent. We believe everyone

Matt Stagliano:

has what it takes to create something amazing. We just need

Matt Stagliano:

some encouragement and inspiration along the way. What

Matt Stagliano:

you're about to hear is a live recording of one of our daily

Matt Stagliano:

discussions on the clubhouse app. If you like what you hear,

Matt Stagliano:

I encourage you to join our private Facebook group, or visit

Matt Stagliano:

us on the web at the artist forged calm. Now on to the show.

Nicole York:

Welcome everyone, to morning walk and talk with

Nicole York:

the artists Forge. I see we've got so many friends with us

Nicole York:

already this morning. I hope the rest of your day yesterday was

Nicole York:

incredible. And you went off to do amazing things. And I hope

Nicole York:

you're up and Adam and feeling Brighton Sparky this morning. As

Nicole York:

we finish this week's conversation about money. I

Nicole York:

gotta say, Guys, it's been a really incredible week with so

Nicole York:

much good insight and advice into this issue. That seems to

Nicole York:

be a real trouble spot for so many artists and art related

Nicole York:

entrepreneurs. Partly probably, because of how closely our

Nicole York:

height our heart is tied to our work. And for many of us, as

Nicole York:

creatives the business side, the money side can feel just

Nicole York:

completely foreign. And like a world we don't really want to

Nicole York:

live in. But if we're going to make careers making art, we

Nicole York:

better figure it out. And so this week was really fantastic

Nicole York:

and exposing a lot of the limiting beliefs that we've had

Nicole York:

around money, our internal monologues, the things that we

Nicole York:

say when we find ourselves in situations with money, and also

Nicole York:

some of the steps that we can take in moving forward. So today

Nicole York:

is going to kind of close things up. But I have a framework for

Nicole York:

us that we're going to follow. So we can be really well

Nicole York:

prepared for starting the business conversation next week.

Nicole York:

And here is basically what that's going to look like. So

Nicole York:

we're going to talk about first defining what a healthy

Nicole York:

relationship with money looks like for us. So we've talked

Nicole York:

about those limiting beliefs that internal monologue. So what

Nicole York:

is the other side of that? What does a healthy relationship

Nicole York:

actually look like for you? How can you put goals in place, we

Nicole York:

need to make sure we get educated, we're going to talk

Nicole York:

about scheduling money dates. So basically putting it in your

Nicole York:

calendar setting aside the time not going well, when I have a

Nicole York:

spare chance, I'll sit down because you know that chance is

Nicole York:

never gonna come. So we have to put that in our calendar the

Nicole York:

same way we would any other kind of appointment, we want to talk

Nicole York:

about putting together a framework, even if it's a really

Nicole York:

simple one, where the normal way that we relate to money can be

Nicole York:

kind of built on some scaffolding, right. And then

Nicole York:

finally, we'll talk about hand up this part of it will be

Nicole York:

quick, but we can talk about automating parts of that

Nicole York:

framework so that we don't necessarily have to touch them

Nicole York:

or worry about them. You can do things like automating certain

Nicole York:

percentage of each paycheck to go into your savings, right? So

Nicole York:

some really simple things we can talk about there. But first, and

Nicole York:

most importantly, I think we need to delineate what a healthy

Nicole York:

relationship with money looks like for us. And obviously, this

Nicole York:

is going to be a little bit different for each of us, even

Nicole York:

though there's going to be some common threads. Probably most

Nicole York:

people would say that, you know, certain aspects of this

Nicole York:

relationship will be common all across the board. We're not

Nicole York:

going to figure those out until we start talking about them. So

Nicole York:

I would love to hear from our friends who were here already

Nicole York:

this morning. What does a healthy relationship with money

Nicole York:

look like in your mind? Like what parts of your relationship

Nicole York:

with money would you say are healthy? And are those things

Nicole York:

other people can latch on to when they're figuring out how to

Nicole York:

continue moving forward with their money relationship? Well.

Nicole York:

If you're in the audience this morning, and you have a healthy

Nicole York:

relationship with money, or you think you have healthy aspects

Nicole York:

of your relationship with money that you'd like to share, please

Nicole York:

go ahead and feel free to raise your hand. Matt, Becca besom Do

Nicole York:

any of you guys have any healthy parts of the relationship with

Nicole York:

money that you'd like to share?

Bekka Bjorke:

I think kind of, I came to a breakthrough at some

Bekka Bjorke:

point like Can't put a finger on exactly what made this happen

Bekka Bjorke:

except for, you know, time and tenacity, but I'm not obsessing

Bekka Bjorke:

over money. Because I never there were points where I was

Bekka Bjorke:

thinking about it all the time, all the time. And you know how

Bekka Bjorke:

much I was saving and how much I was making. And, you know, just,

Bekka Bjorke:

it was obsessive, it was obsessive. And I felt like that

Bekka Bjorke:

was like, important because it was like me being financially

Bekka Bjorke:

smart. But really, it was kind of unhealthy and distracting. So

Bekka Bjorke:

like getting to the point where I could let go of the constant

Bekka Bjorke:

thinking about money. Not constantly checking the bank,

Bekka Bjorke:

not constantly looking at every cent. That moved me into a lot

Bekka Bjorke:

healthier space.

Nicole York:

Ooh, that makes a lot of sense. And as you said

Nicole York:

it, I immediately was kind of like, yeah, that's a pretty big

Nicole York:

one. Particularly for those of us who are really fighting to

Nicole York:

get businesses off the ground, it can feel like that is the

Nicole York:

only important part of our world. And it's definitely a

Nicole York:

constant struggle, not to be monitoring your income and your

Nicole York:

output, like, multiple times every day. And then why do we

Nicole York:

keep checking our bank account? Like, is it still there? Is

Nicole York:

there anymore? How did everything change, like, man,

Nicole York:

it's like waiting for watching bread to rise, it's kind of

Nicole York:

torturous. And amazingly, focusing on it that way just

Nicole York:

makes every small problem seem like it's 40 times bigger than

Nicole York:

it really is. I

Matt Stagliano:

feel like, no matter what,

Nicole York:

you're not exactly sure what, oh, go ahead, I

Matt Stagliano:

was gonna say, I'm in the opposite camp, where

Matt Stagliano:

I need to look at it every day, I need to monitor every cent

Matt Stagliano:

because that gives me a feeling of control. And not just hoping

Matt Stagliano:

and wishing it's going to be there. Now I'm doing that in the

Matt Stagliano:

hopes of fostering that healthy relationship, right, really

Matt Stagliano:

understanding where my money is, where it goes, understanding how

Matt Stagliano:

it's being spent, I believe that, you know, I'm never going

Matt Stagliano:

to be without money, I'm always going to make it somehow because

Matt Stagliano:

history has proven that I always make the money to pay my

Matt Stagliano:

mortgage, or my rent or whatnot. So I've gotten rid of those

Matt Stagliano:

beliefs where I'm never going to have enough a lot of that

Matt Stagliano:

scarcity mindset. But I do really want to create this

Matt Stagliano:

positive relationship where I can know exactly what I have,

Matt Stagliano:

where it is, what accounts it's in, how it's being used, how

Matt Stagliano:

it's being worked and, and put that money to work for me. But I

Matt Stagliano:

need to monitor that for my own well being, you know what I

Matt Stagliano:

mean? It's not an obsessive, like, Oh, my God, I'm never

Matt Stagliano:

gonna have this, it's more, okay, now I see where it's

Matt Stagliano:

going. Here's what I need to do. Here's how I'm sticking to my

Matt Stagliano:

budget, so on and so forth. But for me the way my personality

Matt Stagliano:

type works, I need to look at every cent every day.

Nicole York:

Right? So it's interesting that you say that,

Nicole York:

Matt, because it kind of reminds me of what David was talking

Nicole York:

about yesterday, about relationships, and the fact that

Nicole York:

I think we can actually draw a really great parallel with both

Nicole York:

what Becca said, and you said, and a relationship, like there's

Nicole York:

a, there's a difference between continuing to make those efforts

Nicole York:

to foster that healthy relationship, to pay attention

Nicole York:

to it, and to be aware of it. But there's a difference between

Nicole York:

that and obsessing over the relationship, right, like,

Nicole York:

worrying every single time do they still love me? Do they

Nicole York:

still love me? Are they gonna do the thing? Like, are they gonna

Nicole York:

leave? Like, is everything okay with us? Like, I feel like

Nicole York:

there's that really great kind of dividing line where what

Nicole York:

you're doing is really like, paying attention, and trying to

Nicole York:

understand and making sure that you're like there and present.

Nicole York:

Versus I'm assuming, Becca, what you're talking about, which is

Nicole York:

the stress of like, Is it still there? Is there going to be

Nicole York:

enough as it has anything changed? Oh, my God,

Bekka Bjorke:

right. Yeah, totally. And I mean, like, I

Bekka Bjorke:

definitely agree with Matt that like having a good idea of what

Bekka Bjorke:

is going on, even on a daily basis is super important. And,

Bekka Bjorke:

like, this is a personal thing for me, but I'm really, really

Bekka Bjorke:

good at remembering numbers. It's like most abstract

Bekka Bjorke:

superpowers, so I can remember what my in and out with money is

Bekka Bjorke:

in my head really well. But it's again, that that obsessive

Bekka Bjorke:

feeling letting it control actions like you know, any

Bekka Bjorke:

casual purchase, you know, any activity or you know, anything

Bekka Bjorke:

like obsessing over the cost, and digging down into like, the

Bekka Bjorke:

minutiae down to the sense of like, well, is this okay? If I

Bekka Bjorke:

spend 61 cents 30 instead of 31 cents, you know, that kind of

Bekka Bjorke:

obsession

Nicole York:

Yeah, for sure. And it's really interesting to have

Nicole York:

you guys kind of share that right after one another because

Nicole York:

I feel like it's a really good example of kind of both sides of

Nicole York:

what that relationship looks like when you're leaning into

Nicole York:

it, like David was mentioning, and, and, and being there and

Nicole York:

being present versus when it's controlling you. And so I think

Nicole York:

that's definitely a fantastic example, people can probably

Nicole York:

look at the difference in their own lives and go, Okay, so here,

Nicole York:

when I think what I'm doing is being smart, what I'm actually

Nicole York:

doing is allowing this fear and this discomfort in my

Nicole York:

relationship with my need to control my actions, rather than

Nicole York:

leaning in and taking control of the relationship. And like,

Nicole York:

being present for it. So he has a really interesting, like

Nicole York:

dichotomy. And it's fantastic, Becca, you were able to get past

Nicole York:

that. Obsessive part of it, do you? You said you weren't really

Nicole York:

sure, kind of what, like, brought that chain?

Bekka Bjorke:

Yeah, um, I think just like, again, just kind of

Bekka Bjorke:

grit. And I know, this is something, something I struggled

Bekka Bjorke:

to explain. Because I spend a lot of time like, in general,

Bekka Bjorke:

just like, sometimes there's things I'm not comfortable with,

Bekka Bjorke:

and I don't want to do and they're hard, and they suck. And

Bekka Bjorke:

I just have to do it anyway. And if I, once I figure out how to

Bekka Bjorke:

explain that, in a way, that's better, I will let you know. But

Bekka Bjorke:

yeah, it just, it came with practice, it came with

Bekka Bjorke:

embarrassing myself even around other people with those kind of

Bekka Bjorke:

obsessive feelings or you know, missing out on opportunities,

Bekka Bjorke:

because I was too worried about the cost. And again, knowing

Bekka Bjorke:

that time is a finite resource, and money is not. And that was

Bekka Bjorke:

the big revelation there to help me kind of move forward. I don't

Bekka Bjorke:

know, I can't give you a date. But that was that was eventual

Bekka Bjorke:

epiphany,

Nicole York:

ooh, say that one more time. Is a finite resource.

Nicole York:

Money is not take a deep breath on that one. Because I feel like

Nicole York:

that's something we really have to keep in the front of our

Nicole York:

minds. Because we will often sacrifice copious amounts of

Nicole York:

time, for not much money under this impression, that somehow

Nicole York:

that's going to wait the scales in our favor. When we're losing

Nicole York:

finite resources, and gaining malleable, flexible, liquid

Nicole York:

resources, they're just going to kind of come and go with the

Nicole York:

tide. That may not be the read the best exchange for us to

Nicole York:

make. So I really hope we're paying attention to that one,

Nicole York:

just in case you're only now arriving this morning, we are

Nicole York:

talking about how we begin to move forward some steps that we

Nicole York:

can take on this journey in our relationship with money to have

Nicole York:

a healthy relationship and asking ourselves now that we

Nicole York:

have discovered some of the limiting beliefs that we have,

Nicole York:

what does a healthy relationship look like? And we've talked

Nicole York:

about the difference between obsessing over the money versus

Nicole York:

having a close intimate relationship with our accounts,

Nicole York:

right, being able to know what's coming in what's going out,

Nicole York:

paying attention to those things, but not letting those

Nicole York:

things control everything we do to the point of obsession. So

Nicole York:

that's a really fantastic example. Cat, do you have any

Nicole York:

good examples? Or some? Do you have any good examples of what

Nicole York:

for you a healthy relationship with money looks like?

Cat Ford-Coates:

Oh, man, that's such a big question. Yeah, let

Cat Ford-Coates:

me ruminate on that for a minute.

Bassam Sabbagh:

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I'm struggling to because

Bassam Sabbagh:

I can flip between the same thing being healthy and

Bassam Sabbagh:

unhealthy. So I'm trying to think about that. But I think I

Bassam Sabbagh:

mentioned it yesterday that my what I would call a healthy

Bassam Sabbagh:

relationship with money for me is what Becca said is money is

Bassam Sabbagh:

not a finite thing. And I've always, I've never worried about

Bassam Sabbagh:

money coming in somehow, obviously, I had a very good

Bassam Sabbagh:

job, and I noticed stability there. But even then, because we

Bassam Sabbagh:

kind of grow to fit within whatever money we make in terms

Bassam Sabbagh:

of we, you know, in general, like I always spent slightly

Bassam Sabbagh:

more than I make, right. But I never worried about for example,

Bassam Sabbagh:

being in debt or having to take out a loan because I know that

Bassam Sabbagh:

at some point, I'm going to compensate for it somehow. And

Bassam Sabbagh:

it's always happened so I have that. It continues to happen.

Bassam Sabbagh:

Now I'm in right now. I'm a little bit complacent in a way

Bassam Sabbagh:

because I do have an income coming in from a pension. But I

Bassam Sabbagh:

do need more money and I want more money, I want to do more.

Bassam Sabbagh:

And I don't sweat I don't fret about it. Somehow, things happen

Bassam Sabbagh:

and I and a big injection of money comes in through my

Bassam Sabbagh:

consulting or whatever it is. And to me that It's healthy

Bassam Sabbagh:

because I, like I don't hope I don't worry about it. It's not

Bassam Sabbagh:

something that I carry, it's not a burden I walk with every day.

Bassam Sabbagh:

I'm like taking a chance, is it somehow not going to happen one

Bassam Sabbagh:

day, maybe. But I still have confidence that if that does

Bassam Sabbagh:

happen, I can turn around and find a way to make money.

Cat Ford-Coates:

I think the healthiest relationship that I

Cat Ford-Coates:

can have with money is staying in this space where I'm able to

Cat Ford-Coates:

honor it as simply an energy instead of this thing for years,

Cat Ford-Coates:

it was always this thing I was chasing. And I was not in a

Cat Ford-Coates:

healthy relationship with it, like I was running up credit

Cat Ford-Coates:

card debt, and because it was like, oh, I want and kind of the

Cat Ford-Coates:

same thing, that person was saying, like, I know that,

Cat Ford-Coates:

inevitably, like I will somehow generate whatever to meet that

Cat Ford-Coates:

obligation. But at the same time, I wasn't doing that, like

Cat Ford-Coates:

that money was available to me, from an expensive outside

Cat Ford-Coates:

source, right, like 24% credit card interest in that. And it

Cat Ford-Coates:

wasn't until I started just treating money itself as an

Cat Ford-Coates:

energetic entity, that I was allowed to be in a relationship

Cat Ford-Coates:

with it instead of using it solely as a tool. And now I can

Cat Ford-Coates:

look at that and be in partnership with money instead

Cat Ford-Coates:

of like trying to hold it or control it. Does that make

Cat Ford-Coates:

sense?

Nicole York:

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know, just a few

Nicole York:

moments ago, we were kind of likening this relationship we

Nicole York:

have with money to a marriage, playing on the analogy that

Nicole York:

David made yesterday. And there's a difference in the way

Nicole York:

that you would treat your partner in a relationship, if

Nicole York:

you are constantly in the fear of losing them and constantly

Nicole York:

having to chase after them versus recognizing that they

Nicole York:

choose to be there with you. And even though money doesn't

Nicole York:

exactly have a choice, right, it's kind of being a, I always

Nicole York:

kind of imagined me being the gate, in a in like a waterway

Nicole York:

system. So I can kind of open and spill money into different

Nicole York:

areas, or I can close. And that's kind of the mental

Nicole York:

picture that always pops into my head. When I think about like

Nicole York:

money as, as you were saying, kind of like an energetic

Nicole York:

source, instead of just a goal that you get, and then it

Nicole York:

disappears, or, you know, whatever else, these kind of

Nicole York:

weird mental images that I have of money definitely changes when

Nicole York:

you think of yourself as a vessel for it to flow through.

Nicole York:

And of course, you can change the size of the vessel and all

Nicole York:

that good stuff. But it's a difference between that and

Nicole York:

trying to catch rain with your bare hands, you know,

Cat Ford-Coates:

catch rain with your bare hands.

Nicole York:

I mean, that's kind of what it feels like, right?

Nicole York:

Like, when you're in that place where you feel like you're

Nicole York:

constantly having to chase money, you're grabbing and

Nicole York:

you're grabbing as this rain is falling from the sky and your

Nicole York:

hands get wet, but they never get full. And when you change

Nicole York:

and become a bucket instead, you can get full and then you

Nicole York:

overflow. And then that that money goes to other places as

Nicole York:

well. And it's not just you that's getting full, you can

Nicole York:

fill up other things also. And that just the whole tone of the

Nicole York:

relationship changes. So I think it's a really fantastic way to

Nicole York:

view that, and a really healthy way to view that instead of the

Nicole York:

grasping and grabbing and never being able to fill your hands

Nicole York:

up.

Cat Ford-Coates:

Well, and when we're when we're chasing money,

Cat Ford-Coates:

we've created sort of a wall between us and the purpose,

Cat Ford-Coates:

right? Like what is the purpose of said, money, right? And

Cat Ford-Coates:

instead of like realizing that that money is simply there to

Cat Ford-Coates:

allow us to live our lives in the way that that we are

Cat Ford-Coates:

designing, right, we've made money the goal instead of the

Cat Ford-Coates:

goal itself. And that's when things start, that's when the

Cat Ford-Coates:

rain just slips through.

Nicole York:

Yes. And you just said exactly what I was going to

Nicole York:

follow that up with. So I'm so glad that you said it. Because

Nicole York:

we don't actually want money. I mean, we're making the mistake

Nicole York:

of thinking that what we want is money, when what we really want

Nicole York:

is freedom, or security. Or, you know, the ability to do things

Nicole York:

at scale, or to reach wider audiences or et cetera, et

Nicole York:

cetera, like money is just the facilitator. It's the grease

Nicole York:

That gets us to the place we want to go. It's not the goal.

Nicole York:

But you're absolutely right. When we make it the goal, then

Nicole York:

there can never be enough, right. And sometimes money

Nicole York:

becomes an avatar for something else that's unhealthy, like

Nicole York:

approval, or validation, or power. And we start to see the

Nicole York:

money that we have as symbols of those things. And if we have

Nicole York:

some reason to crave validation in our lives, and money becomes

Nicole York:

the substitute for the father who never told us he was proud.

Nicole York:

Or, you know, the the family who never valued what we do, or

Nicole York:

becomes an avatar for the power we didn't have over our lives

Nicole York:

growing up, or whatever it is, all of a sudden, we can never

Nicole York:

have enough. And it never satisfies those needs. Because

Nicole York:

the need was never the money, it was always the emotional state,

Nicole York:

or the physical state or the psychological state that we were

Nicole York:

chasing, and not the thing itself. So I hope everybody

Nicole York:

really listened to that one. Because for me, most often,

Nicole York:

money means security and freedom. And that is because

Nicole York:

those are two things I absolutely lacked. As a kid,

Nicole York:

there was never any sense of long term security and my

Nicole York:

family, and we never had the freedom to do anything. And so,

Nicole York:

for me, money often takes that shape in my head, it's not a

Nicole York:

relationship that I build purposefully, it just falls into

Nicole York:

place, because that is the history of the way, I've always

Nicole York:

understood money. And so that is the reason that when I see maybe

Nicole York:

our savings account start to dip or we have some big thing we

Nicole York:

have to do, like replace our water heater, or, like I said,

Nicole York:

before somebody hit my car over the summer, we had to replace

Nicole York:

the car. So we've pulled a lot out of savings for a down

Nicole York:

payment on a car. When those things happen, I have this like,

Nicole York:

internal clenching of my gut the sense of like, Oh, God, there it

Nicole York:

goes, and it's never gonna come back. And if something bad

Nicole York:

happens, the money that was in there isn't going to be in there

Nicole York:

anymore, which signals danger to me, I don't actually want the

Nicole York:

money. I don't want to hold the cash in my hand and be a miser

Nicole York:

in a corner. I want the security and I want the safety and the

Nicole York:

freedom from those worries. And so make sure as we go about, you

Nicole York:

know, the weekend and kind of reflect on the conversations

Nicole York:

we've had this week, that you understand that the money is not

Nicole York:

the goal. Just like when somebody wants to buy a piece of

Nicole York:

your art, they don't want the clay, or the paint or the ink.

Nicole York:

What they really want is the psychological, emotional state

Nicole York:

that they can only achieve when they see look at or share your

Nicole York:

art. So keep that in mind. So we have Jean and Carol with us

Nicole York:

today. I know Carol had her hand up for a while. So I want to

Nicole York:

snag her up first.

Bassam Sabbagh:

Before we do that, I just want to I just want

Bassam Sabbagh:

to kind of respond to something you mentioned, I've heard you

Bassam Sabbagh:

say a few times now that we had to dig into our savings to get

Bassam Sabbagh:

something done. And just going back to a conversation I think

Bassam Sabbagh:

we had yesterday where Jean was talking or I can't remember who

Bassam Sabbagh:

also mentioned it, maybe it's redefining the word savings. And

Bassam Sabbagh:

including some of the feel good that you stuff that you just

Bassam Sabbagh:

mentioned, like security, my security fund, maybe part of it

Bassam Sabbagh:

is a security fund. The other part is savings or whatever it

Bassam Sabbagh:

is maybe just changing the because that money is there for

Bassam Sabbagh:

that in a way. Right? Because Thank God you had that money to

Bassam Sabbagh:

pay for the car. And it was just just a thought that I had on it.

Nicole York:

Yeah, it's a really good point. That's, um, it's a

Nicole York:

really good point. And I know that on a, like on an

Nicole York:

intellectual level like that is the reason that savings account

Nicole York:

exists, we have a separate savings and investment account,

Nicole York:

where you know, other bigger money is that that we don't

Nicole York:

touch. But that still is one of those weird just psychological

Nicole York:

fights that I have to have with myself. Because it just feels

Nicole York:

like when I see that number, I can breathe a sigh of relief.

Nicole York:

And so when ever that number goes down, I start to like, Oh,

Nicole York:

now get panicky. And you're right. I mean, if I if I maybe

Nicole York:

start changing the way that I frame in my head that may help

Nicole York:

me kind of combat some of those like deeper, deeper connections.

Nicole York:

I have to like some issues from my past. So I'm going to give

Nicole York:

that a try and see if it helps a little bit. But the biggest

Nicole York:

thing I think is just recognizing where that comes

Nicole York:

from that the feelings I have about what's happening are not

Nicole York:

the truth of what's happening. They're Echoes of the Past So I

Nicole York:

got to keep that in mind as well. So thanks for suggesting

Nicole York:

it, I'm gonna, I'm gonna give it a try and see how it works for

Nicole York:

me. So let's start with Carol. And then we'll go to Jean,

Unknown:

um, before anybody answered, when you asked, What

Unknown:

is a healthy relationship with money? My answer would have been

Unknown:

to not think about money. And then, and then everybody

Unknown:

answered on kind of both sides of that. And then I'm like,

Unknown:

Alright, after hearing whatever, what everybody has said, I guess

Unknown:

it's to not have to worry about money, because at this point, I

Unknown:

have to think about it because I have to learn about it, I have

Unknown:

to learn how, what kind of not just the relationship and

Unknown:

attitude that I'm supposed to have about money, or if I should

Unknown:

say, supposed to, but anyway, but also to be grudgingly, I

Unknown:

really, money has never been important to my husband and me.

Unknown:

And to me, the real freedom is to not have to think about it.

Unknown:

And I want to get to the point where I don't have to think

Unknown:

about it. But before I can do that, I have to think about it,

Unknown:

I have to learn about it. So if that makes sense. I think

Nicole York:

it does, Carol, and I think that that's a really

Nicole York:

interesting point. And I'm going to make an analogy really quick,

Nicole York:

I have a friend of mine. And we always kind of talk about trying

Nicole York:

to get ourselves to the place where we can hand over the parts

Nicole York:

of our business we don't enjoy doing so we can kind of

Nicole York:

outsource some of these things. Maybe it's email marketing, or

Nicole York:

whatever it is wanting to be able to outsource those, so we

Nicole York:

don't have to worry about them. But we have to worry about them

Nicole York:

just enough to earn enough money so that we can afford to

Nicole York:

outsource those things. And it's kind of exactly what you're

Nicole York:

talking about. And I think the difference there is exactly the

Nicole York:

difference between Matt and Becca, this morning, the

Nicole York:

difference between leaning in and saying, Okay, let me figure

Nicole York:

out this relationship, pay attention and learn here and

Nicole York:

just, you know, do what I can as opposed to, oh, God, I have to

Nicole York:

pay attention to everything or the ship was going down. Like

Nicole York:

those are two entirely different energies that we kind of bring

Nicole York:

to the equation. So like you said, Now you get to learn, and

Nicole York:

that's thinking about money, but it's not obsessing about money,

Nicole York:

right? Or obsessing about it to the point where you now have,

Nicole York:

you no longer have peace. And that's kind of the big, like,

Nicole York:

tipping point, I think that place we want to try to stand

Nicole York:

and hopefully not stand too far on either side.

Unknown:

You know, the one other thing I would add is that when

Unknown:

you talked about the positive and the negative thoughts about

Unknown:

money, part of my fear is you see people that didn't have

Unknown:

money, then they have it, then they either lose it or they get

Unknown:

an attitude or whatever. And then it makes me understand the

Unknown:

negative about, you know, the approval, the validation, the

Unknown:

power, the never enough, the negative attitude about money as

Unknown:

opposed to freedom and security and safety, which is exactly

Unknown:

what I want. And I guess I had a fear of the negative, you know,

Unknown:

that negative part, changing into that negative person that I

Unknown:

envision all people with money are. That's, you know what I

Unknown:

mean? And so it helps to differentiate what's good and

Unknown:

what not good.

Nicole York:

Ooh, Carol, that that's so important that you

Nicole York:

said that just now and I hope everybody was listening. Because

Nicole York:

money is often seen as an amplifier, which is in the same

Nicole York:

case as power, right? Power is an amplifier. And if you are the

Nicole York:

kind of person who will take whatever power you have and use

Nicole York:

it badly, then increased power is only going to increase the

Nicole York:

scope of your reach. Right? There's this really interesting

Nicole York:

quote by CS Lewis, I think it may be in the book Mere

Nicole York:

Christianity, or it may be another book, I cannot remember

Nicole York:

off the top of my head. But he talks about the difference

Nicole York:

between Adolf Hitler and a normal guy. And a normal man may

Nicole York:

have all of the same, cool impulses to power are cruel

Nicole York:

impulses toward people, but he doesn't have the power to

Nicole York:

execute them. And the only difference is that one person

Nicole York:

was placed in a position where they have the kind of power to

Nicole York:

execute their impulses. And so if you are a generous person who

Nicole York:

wants to help others when they can, and you you know, you're

Nicole York:

not somebody who wants to Lord their power over other people

Nicole York:

than the chances that Money is going to bring that in your life

Nicole York:

all on its own are like, zero, right? There are other things

Nicole York:

that may twist us in that direction. Other things like

Nicole York:

power dynamics and relationships and things like that. But for

Nicole York:

the most part, people who are generous, are always generous,

Nicole York:

because they have more to be generous width. And people who

Nicole York:

are tight fisted, tend to be tight fisted, whether they're

Nicole York:

wealthy, or whether they have nothing. So I would just

Nicole York:

encourage you not to be afraid there. And to try to combat some

Nicole York:

of those pictures you have in your head of you know, what

Nicole York:

happens to people with money, because the people who lose

Nicole York:

money will never keep it, they were never going to keep it in

Nicole York:

the first place. They couldn't keep what they had. And it's a

Nicole York:

mindset issue. And the reason I know this is because that's the

Nicole York:

community I grew up in.

Cat Ford-Coates:

We, this is,

Nicole York:

okay, here's a touchy, touchy subject. But it

Nicole York:

goes exactly with what you're just saying. My sister was hit

Nicole York:

and killed. When I was 10 years old, she was six, she was

Nicole York:

crossing the street in front of our house, my parents went to

Nicole York:

court with the woman who hit her. She was unfortunately, she

Nicole York:

actually should not have been driving. She didn't have the

Nicole York:

physical or the eyesight or anything left anymore to be able

Nicole York:

to be safely on the road. And my parents wanted her driver's

Nicole York:

license, that's it, they didn't want anything else from her,

Nicole York:

they just didn't want her driving anymore. So it was a

Nicole York:

extended battle in court. And eventually, she had better

Nicole York:

lawyers than we did. And there was nothing we could do to get

Nicole York:

her license. So my parents settled on a settlement of about

Nicole York:

$300,000. Within two years, we report them. And it wasn't

Nicole York:

because my parents didn't necessarily make any good

Nicole York:

decisions. But they they didn't make any good decisions. They

Nicole York:

did not have the kind of mindset that would have allowed them to

Nicole York:

take that and put it towards long term uses. And and help

Nicole York:

keep us in a place where we would be stable. They made a lot

Nicole York:

of purchases, they did a lot of other things. And so of course,

Nicole York:

that result became that the money just float away. And

Nicole York:

nobody built any buckets. Nobody built any buckets. And so it's

Nicole York:

this conversation and being able to change these mindset issues

Nicole York:

that we have. And these deep core beliefs that we have in

Nicole York:

this relationship that we have, that's going to allow us to be

Nicole York:

the kind of people who are not like we're holding on to it with

Nicole York:

our clenched fists, but we understand the management of it,

Nicole York:

where to turn on a dam and where to shut off a flow and where to

Nicole York:

do the things. So just don't be afraid they're Miss lady. Don't

Nicole York:

be afraid, you're on the path to becoming the person that has the

Nicole York:

relationship with money that you want to be. So don't let those

Nicole York:

fears stop. It's

Unknown:

as much about learning, though, because we sold the

Unknown:

house and we had we had $56,000. And it was like we were

Unknown:

millionaires, you know, so similar to your parents

Unknown:

experience. We went to the bank, what do we do? What do we do

Unknown:

with our money you're supposed to invest? And so the bank

Unknown:

person said, Okay, put it in this fund and that fund and this

Unknown:

fund, and it didn't allow for we needed a fridge for the move for

Unknown:

our new house. We needed, you know, washer, dryer car, and all

Unknown:

that kind of stuff. And so they go whatever you do, don't put it

Unknown:

in your house. Well, what ended up happening is we the money all

Unknown:

got siphoned away and being able to make house payments, whereas

Unknown:

if we had put it in the house, the house payment would have

Unknown:

been lesser, and we wouldn't have needed to keep withdrawing

Unknown:

until it was all gone. So I've actually said before, if I had

Unknown:

money, I wouldn't know what to do with it. So that's where I am

Unknown:

right now. So it's about learning as much as it is about

Unknown:

attitude like okay, I get this this bunch of money, what am

Unknown:

What am I supposed to do? I don't know. I've never had

Unknown:

money. So that

Nicole York:

Yep, you're absolutely right, which is why

Nicole York:

the thing that we're encouraging people and all the resources

Nicole York:

that are being shared in the Facebook group are so important,

Nicole York:

because we need to learn how it works. How does it work? So for

Nicole York:

folks who are like, okay, we're dealing with these internal

Nicole York:

attitudes now we're dealing with these blocks. What are the

Nicole York:

resources for learning there have already been a lot of those

Nicole York:

posted in the Facebook group. Really encourage folks to go

Nicole York:

find those there. Because nobody in this group is a financial

Nicole York:

advisor and that's why we haven't given advice of that

Nicole York:

type of sorts. So definitely go and look they're super super

Nicole York:

encouraging a lot of really fantastic resources. Um, Jean

Nicole York:

Okay, go ahead.

Cat Ford-Coates:

Yeah, I just a while While Carol was speaking

Cat Ford-Coates:

and while you are responding that the thing that kept sort of

Cat Ford-Coates:

blaring up into my brain was really about, you know, like the

Cat Ford-Coates:

resource and where do you start to really understand how to

Cat Ford-Coates:

learn about it. And I know I talked about sue, sue Brice

Cat Ford-Coates:

quite a bit in this group, but she has a really fantastic

Cat Ford-Coates:

course. And if you're a member of Subarus education, you can go

Cat Ford-Coates:

and watch it and devour it and you know, start that process.

Cat Ford-Coates:

Because the sort of the way she teaches a is, money does not

Cat Ford-Coates:

inherently make you a bad person, right? Like someone

Cat Ford-Coates:

who's mean or tight fisted, or whatever. Money makes you more

Cat Ford-Coates:

of who you are. So sort of in line with what you were just

Cat Ford-Coates:

talking about Nicole. But the the course that I'm referring

Cat Ford-Coates:

to, she has what's called the the money wheel of misfortune.

Cat Ford-Coates:

And really what it is, is based on, you know, how you work

Cat Ford-Coates:

through the program, you discover, like your natural

Cat Ford-Coates:

tendencies with money and or abundance. And when you're able

Cat Ford-Coates:

to look at that sort of the same way you're able to look at, like

Cat Ford-Coates:

the hard numbers, like we were talking about yesterday, and

Cat Ford-Coates:

being able to look at the evidence, you're able to say,

Cat Ford-Coates:

okay, look, I am typically tight fisted with money, and I'm tight

Cat Ford-Coates:

fisted with money, because you start digging into like those

Cat Ford-Coates:

those childhood events that created that, that determination

Cat Ford-Coates:

for you. And gives you ways to move through and to the other

Cat Ford-Coates:

side of that to where like, Okay, well, naturally, my

Cat Ford-Coates:

tendency is to hold on to everything. But then you realize

Cat Ford-Coates:

that when you are holding on to everything, and you know,

Cat Ford-Coates:

hoarding it versus having honor for it, then you can say, Okay,

Cat Ford-Coates:

this is how we start that flow again. And I think it's hugely

Cat Ford-Coates:

powerful, as a as a small course to take, so that you can begin

Cat Ford-Coates:

the process of learning how to develop honor with your

Cat Ford-Coates:

relationship with money, versus I'm just going to be a terrible

Cat Ford-Coates:

person if I ever have money, because all that's gonna do is

Cat Ford-Coates:

immediately push money away from you. It's going to respond to

Cat Ford-Coates:

No, I don't want that because I don't want to be a bad person.

Cat Ford-Coates:

The assumption that I'm going to be a bad person is what is

Cat Ford-Coates:

stopping that money from coming to you in the first?

Nicole York:

Good stuff? Yes, absolutely. For folks. If you

Nicole York:

are not part of that, of course, go check out Sue Bryce

Nicole York:

education. That's all of her stuff is worthwhile. So, go have

Nicole York:

a look there. And I will say, you know, listening to sue,

Nicole York:

probably 10 years or so ago, maybe a little bit less, maybe a

Nicole York:

little bit less than B eight. I have no conception of time. And

Nicole York:

any case, was a really big kick. For me one particular thing she

Nicole York:

said, which was your work at McDonald's, and allow them to

Nicole York:

pay you 725 An hour, but you won't charge 725 an hour for

Nicole York:

your own business. Why are you doing this to us? As like, Oh,

Nicole York:

shit. That was a really good point damage. But uh, yeah, so

Nicole York:

I've definitely encourage folks who go check, go check out that.

Nicole York:

What's the name of the course particularly cat so they can I

Nicole York:

mean, they need to go to sue Bryce education. But what's the

Nicole York:

name of the course they

Cat Ford-Coates:

work the money wheel of misfortune, and I'll

Cat Ford-Coates:

post a link to it in the Facebook group.

Nicole York:

Okay, awesome. All right, Jean, would love to hear

Nicole York:

from you this morning.

Unknown:

Yeah, cat was wandering through the woods with her super

Unknown:

nice bow and arrow and shot me in the butt with it. And I'm so

Unknown:

glad that I've loved I've really enjoyed her courses. And I just

Unknown:

love the way that she thinks and her personality is just so fun.

Unknown:

You know, it makes it really fun to watch the courses. And so

Unknown:

I've really enjoyed that. And I thank you Kat for, you know,

Unknown:

pushing me in that direction. I think it's fascinating. As I'm

Unknown:

listening to everyone today, it occurred to me that, you know,

Unknown:

our relationship with money throughout our lifespan really

Unknown:

follows the the data, the knowledge model that we talked

Unknown:

about, a couple months ago, where you you make this

Unknown:

transition from data, information, knowledge and

Unknown:

wisdom. And what made me think of that was listening to both

Unknown:

the Psalm and then Carol, talk about these two, dichotomies of

Unknown:

you know, the Psalm and saying that he's not really like

Unknown:

stressed and worried about money. And you know, Carol is

Unknown:

trying really hard to not not think about it or not worry

Unknown:

about the money. And the reason I wanted to I really came up

Unknown:

today because I wanted to build on what the song was saying.

Unknown:

Because I think it's so important that people, you know,

Unknown:

I spent my my whole working career I spent 30 years just

Unknown:

grinding away terrified that I wasn't going to have enough

Unknown:

money when I couldn't work anymore. And, you know, I, I'm

Unknown:

in a good position because of decisions that I made a long

Unknown:

time ago, you know, fair enough. I mean, I, I definitely have

Unknown:

benefited from retiring from the military. But that was a 25 year

Unknown:

commitment that I had to stick with. And I think, for me, where

Unknown:

a lot of people look at money, look at worry, as it relates to

Unknown:

money as a negative thing, I always viewed worry through the

Unknown:

lens of drive. And I always found that it was that worry

Unknown:

about not having enough money, that drove me to professional

Unknown:

development, to seek promotions, to improve myself to put myself

Unknown:

in positions where I could climb up that ladder. And I honestly

Unknown:

don't think that I would have gone as far as I did, if I did

Unknown:

not have that drive, and that drive was rooted in a worry that

Unknown:

I wasn't going to have enough money when I couldn't work

Unknown:

anymore. Now, having gone through that, and then losing my

Unknown:

job losing that income, and, and having, you know, in a time in

Unknown:

my life, where I felt like, you know, if I missed one paycheck,

Unknown:

it was going to bankrupt me, or feeling like if I, you know,

Unknown:

took a demotion that it would completely change my life. Well,

Unknown:

in this case, I lost everything. And for me, I think that as I

Unknown:

settled into, okay, this is my life, on just my retirement from

Unknown:

the military, which is not really enough to live on in

Unknown:

Northern Virginia. But if I had to, I know that I could go to,

Unknown:

you know, Podunk Kentucky, and I could live pretty good in some

Unknown:

small town somewhere on my retirement and just sit around

Unknown:

and, you know, grow a herb garden and watch the cars drive

Unknown:

by, I can go to Colombia, where my wife is from and live like a

Unknown:

king. I mean, it's just incredible.

Unknown:

How far $1 goes, you know, in Colombia. So we struggle in

Unknown:

Northern Virginia, but Northern Virginia is where a lot of

Unknown:

opportunity is. And so, you know, I guess what I'm trying to

Unknown:

say is that, I found that I mean, but Sam, it's amazing how

Unknown:

besonders kind of he's like my, my twin brother in Canadian in

Unknown:

Canada. But, you know, I feel the I resonated with what he

Unknown:

said, because, because I no longer like I've proven to

Unknown:

myself, I have not had a regular nine to five job in three years.

Unknown:

Is it three? Yeah, three years. And a minimum, okay. Like, I've

Unknown:

made it work. And I haven't really stressed, because I know

Unknown:

all the important stuff is covered. But if there's things

Unknown:

that I want to do, well, I got to make money. Well, that's why

Unknown:

I'm taking pictures. That's why I'm making videos. That's why

Unknown:

I'm doing what I do. Except now I'm doing what I want to do. And

Unknown:

I'm doing what I enjoy doing, and I'm doing it at the pace

Unknown:

that I need to do it. And if I don't do it, I'm still going to

Unknown:

eat and I still have a roof. And so my point is, is that we, you

Unknown:

know, if if you worry about worrying, then you're going to

Unknown:

have a lot of stress in your life. But if you view that

Unknown:

worry, as something that feeds drive, to, to continue to

Unknown:

improve yourself to improve your position, I don't think that's

Unknown:

necessarily a negative thing. But at the same time, know that

Unknown:

when the time comes, you're gonna be okay, you're gonna

Unknown:

figure it out. Just you know, if you stick with the a lot of the

Unknown:

great advice and systems that we've been talking about in this

Unknown:

room all week and you and you and you learn about money and

Unknown:

you educate yourself about money and you make good decisions,

Unknown:

then when the time comes, you know, you're gonna figure it out

Unknown:

and it's gonna be okay. And so I just, that's just really what I

Unknown:

wanted to add. I think Nicole it's it's really Amazing, you

Unknown:

know, the point that you make about money, representing things

Unknown:

that you lacked when you were growing up? That's huge. With

Unknown:

both of us, I can resonate with that for sure. And I also wanted

Unknown:

to say that when you were talking about your sister, I

Unknown:

just, I mean, that was a gut punch. I'm just, I don't even

Unknown:

know how you get past something like that. And I think that says

Unknown:

a lot about who you are, and how your family, you know, helps

Unknown:

people and, and your compassion. And I'm sure that was a defining

Unknown:

moment for your family. And I'm just, I'm just heartbroken to

Unknown:

hear that story. I just, no one should have to go through

Unknown:

something like that. It's just horrible. But anyway, thank you

Unknown:

for letting me share. And this has been a great conversation

Unknown:

this week. So I hope I hope everyone has gotten something

Unknown:

out of it. I hope I've been able to contribute a little bit. And

Unknown:

I most certainly have gotten a lot out of this conversation

Unknown:

this week. So I appreciate given this space, Nicole for this.

Nicole York:

I'm super glad to hear that gene. And I think, you

Nicole York:

know, you bring up an interesting point, which I think

Nicole York:

was kind of touched on a little bit by Matt and Becca, early on,

Nicole York:

is that that difference between the worry and concern, right?

Nicole York:

Like understanding, okay, there's, there's things I need

Nicole York:

to do that drive these decisions. And there's a

Nicole York:

difference, I think, between that, and the obsession that

Nicole York:

starts stealing the joy out of our lives, so that it becomes

Nicole York:

something that just the relationship itself becomes

Nicole York:

negative. And I think you're right, you know, there's a

Nicole York:

difference between allowing that energy to be a motivating factor

Nicole York:

where we go, okay, eventually, at some point, I want to be able

Nicole York:

to do this thing. So let me make sure I'm in a position that I

Nicole York:

can do it versus, you know, the the constant struggle that that

Nicole York:

gives you anxiety, and like I said, it kind of steals your joy

Nicole York:

and you can no longer enjoy the things you're doing because they

Nicole York:

don't mean anything, except how do I get to this point. And so I

Nicole York:

think there's definitely something to be said there about

Nicole York:

paying attention to that balance, and then how we frame

Nicole York:

that in our minds, and making sure that because I mean, for

Nicole York:

many of us, the worry will never actually be completely gone.

Nicole York:

It's not something that just disappears. But it's definitely

Nicole York:

something that we can reframe that we can change the way that

Nicole York:

we relate to that worry so that it doesn't become that kind of

Nicole York:

gut eating anxiety that turns money into a bad thing. It just

Nicole York:

becomes additional force in the stream that pushes, you know,

Nicole York:

pushes us toward our goal. So

Unknown:

Nicole, can I can I add one more thing. I so the other

Unknown:

thing that I that I was reminded of when you were talking about

Unknown:

your your parents in the in the court settlement, since since

Unknown:

it's virtually guaranteed that anyone who spends any time in

Unknown:

this room listening to Nicole beside Becca and Kat are going

Unknown:

to become world famous and extremely wealthy creators. I

Unknown:

think that one of the things that we probably really haven't

Unknown:

even thought about this week, that is going to be important

Unknown:

for all the future wealthy, famous creators in this room is

Unknown:

make sure you have a will. That story that you told about your

Unknown:

parents, you know, my my grandmother in California was

Unknown:

very wealthy. My mother and my aunt, horrible with money.

Unknown:

Didn't know my mother literally just lost her second house in

Unknown:

foreclosure. Last year. That's a whole nother story. But my

Unknown:

grandmother when when she was getting into her mid 70s, and

Unknown:

she started to see how well I was doing in the stock market,

Unknown:

which her my her third husband was was a big investor. And

Unknown:

that's how they made a lot of their money because he was

Unknown:

really good with investments. And I had learned a lot about

Unknown:

investing. And I was doing really well in the market. And

Unknown:

we talked a lot about about all that. She made it very clear

Unknown:

that she wanted me to take her money and put it you know, into

Unknown:

keep it in the market and keep it working. And then make sure

Unknown:

that the family was taken care of. We have a special needs

Unknown:

cousin that lives in Los Angeles and there was always she was

Unknown:

always worried that he wouldn't be taken care of. And so this

Unknown:

was a common thing and my mother who I have a horrible

Unknown:

relationship with. That's a whole long story, but my mother

Unknown:

and my aunt. We're not happy about the fact that my

Unknown:

grandmother was gonna leave this money to me because she wanted

Unknown:

me to take care of it. However, she never did a will. And she

Unknown:

unexpectedly passed away at 76. And I'll never forget being

Unknown:

marched down to the bank by my mother and my aunt, where my

Unknown:

grandmother and I shared a safe deposit box, because I while I

Unknown:

needed to clear it out, but they wanted to see if there was a

Unknown:

will, because she had not done a will. And the so what happened

Unknown:

then is her entire estate went into probate, the state of

Unknown:

California took about half of it. And the rest was split

Unknown:

between my mom and my aunt, my mom got a settlement of about

Unknown:

$1.2 million out of when it came out of probate, she immediately

Unknown:

started flying first class everywhere, she took cruises,

Unknown:

she gave a lot of it to my brother, which kind of fed his

Unknown:

unhealthy relationship with money. I didn't take a dime. And

Unknown:

if she gave any money to me, I just put it in the market

Unknown:

because that's what Nana we called her Nana, that's what

Unknown:

Nana wanted us to do. So I just put it back in the market. But

Unknown:

at the end of the day, it took her probably five years. And she

Unknown:

was flat broke, completely flat broke. And she has nothing right

Unknown:

now. And so, you know, I just I think that's it's also you know,

Unknown:

not just about making sure you have good decisions and you do

Unknown:

good things with the windfalls when you get them. And for me,

Unknown:

it's always put it in the market. But once you know, if

Unknown:

you play if you have plans on what you're going to do with

Unknown:

your wealth, you never know when the end is coming. Tomorrow is

Unknown:

not promised. So make sure you have a will make sure that

Unknown:

you've documented what you want to happen. Because because the

Unknown:

state will take it. And so I just wanted to make that point,

Unknown:

because it's something that a lot of us don't think about.

Nicole York:

Yeah, that's very true, Jane, and thanks for

Nicole York:

sharing that story. And I hope I hope, you know, folks, really,

Nicole York:

if they have not done that yet, definitely get that in there.

Nicole York:

Make sure that you put that on your list of things to do,

Nicole York:

because it is really important. So pay attention. Sylvie would

Nicole York:

love to hear from you as well, this morning.

Unknown:

I just wanted to know what the Facebook page was. And

Unknown:

I think I found it. So I'm all good guys.

Nicole York:

Oh, great. Okay. Glad to hear it. All right,

Unknown:

really good information. By the way, I just

Unknown:

want to say that. I'm, yeah, trying to rectify my

Unknown:

relationship with money. And this is all really good

Unknown:

information, especially as a female. Good to know that. You

Unknown:

know, I'm not alone out there trying to learn this.

Nicole York:

Oh, most definitely not most definitely not.

Bassam Sabbagh:

So, you know, this was I'm sorry, I thought

Bassam Sabbagh:

you were finishing. Go ahead. No, I was just gonna remind

Bassam Sabbagh:

syllabi, there's actually a Facebook page. And there's also

Bassam Sabbagh:

a Facebook group that's private, which and the link to the group

Bassam Sabbagh:

is up on top if you want to, if you haven't joined that.

Unknown:

Okay, the one that I joined got like this iron forage

Unknown:

thing? Is that the one? Well, one is a private

Bassam Sabbagh:

group that you have, that you have that we have

Bassam Sabbagh:

to accept too. So yes, kind of, I think

Cat Ford-Coates:

I already accepted her. Yeah, I

Unknown:

think that's the one I joined. Thanks, guys.

Nicole York:

Yay. Welcome, Sophie. Alright. So this has

Nicole York:

been a pretty fantastic conversation already. And I want

Nicole York:

to make sure that I touch on a few of the other points that I

Nicole York:

would like folks to keep in mind, and write these things

Nicole York:

down for yourself, if you want to be moving forward. And I

Nicole York:

really encourage you guys getting together here in the

Nicole York:

morning is a big deal. It's motivating. We've learned a lot,

Nicole York:

all of that stuff. But if you don't start taking any of this

Nicole York:

and putting it into practice, then you are really, really

Nicole York:

missing out on the entire purpose of these conversations,

Nicole York:

because these are actionable things. So here are a few things

Nicole York:

that I want you to take action on. Okay, we started today by

Nicole York:

talking about what a healthy relationship with money might

Nicole York:

look like for us as individuals. Make sure that you do that work

Nicole York:

and ask yourself, what a healthy relationship would look like to

Nicole York:

you. This is the same thing as defining success before you

Nicole York:

engage in the endeavor, right? So define that for yourself. Set

Nicole York:

some goals. What do you need to be doing or earning? Do you need

Nicole York:

to become a better salesman? Do you need to be earning this much

Nicole York:

money? Whatever that happens to be? Do you need to be paying

Nicole York:

down your debt? Do you need to what is it that you need to do?

Nicole York:

What are your goals for the money that you're going to be

Nicole York:

earning? And how much does that need to be? Make sure that

Nicole York:

you're thinking about that? Then get educated? Some of the

Nicole York:

resources have already been shared in the group. There's a

Nicole York:

lot of folks here who are really incredible Ask your questions in

Nicole York:

the Facebook group, let that be a place where we can really

Nicole York:

engage and, and get access to that content that helps us

Nicole York:

understand the way that money works. This is important. And

Nicole York:

then I want you to schedule money dates with yourself. So I

Nicole York:

want you to actually put this in your calendar, this isn't

Nicole York:

something that you can push off, either, you need to leave that

Nicole York:

date there, don't schedule a client session there don't like

Nicole York:

that is really time for you to sit down, to check in with

Nicole York:

yourself, to look at your accounts to look at your

Nicole York:

progress to see where your money's being spent. It doesn't

Nicole York:

have to be a long one, okay, it can just be 20 minutes, it can

Nicole York:

be 15 minutes. But that is a time you really need to set

Nicole York:

aside to look at what you're doing to see if you're on track.

Nicole York:

Are you moving toward those goals that you're set for

Nicole York:

yourself? When are you still progressing in making that

Nicole York:

healthy relationship work for you, okay, and then build

Nicole York:

yourself a framework. Think about where your money is at.

Nicole York:

And then what you've been educated on so far. And where it

Nicole York:

needs to be, it's a great thing to have your catastrophic

Nicole York:

savings, right, that savings, it's there, just in case

Nicole York:

something happens, and you need to be able to do something about

Nicole York:

it, you need to be able to replace your frigerator, get a

Nicole York:

car, do whatever that savings is there, you need a retirement

Nicole York:

savings, right, you need something that you're putting

Nicole York:

away. For the long term, maybe if something happens, and you

Nicole York:

can't work anymore, or whatever it is, you need that to you need

Nicole York:

investments, they're just different things, frameworks

Nicole York:

that you need to build and see what you can automate. So if you

Nicole York:

can automate, every time you get paid 10% of that goes first into

Nicole York:

your savings account. You know, look at that many of us have our

Nicole York:

bills automated, right? So we don't even have to worry about

Nicole York:

paying the water bill or our electricity bill, a gas bill,

Nicole York:

whatever it is, those things just automatically come out. How

Nicole York:

much can we do that with. And if we have subscriptions, as Jeanne

Nicole York:

mentioned, this is a really handy thing to be able to do

Nicole York:

understand the fact that almost always paying for a year in

Nicole York:

advance is cheaper than paying monthly. So what can you

Nicole York:

automate to set aside now, so that when that payment comes up,

Nicole York:

you can just pay it and you're not losing that extra money? So

Nicole York:

keep those things in mind. As we start moving into the weekend,

Nicole York:

I'm gonna say goodbye to my husband really quickly, give me

Nicole York:

a second chat amongst

Unknown:

I want to know you guys about setting up a structure for

Unknown:

taxes for business. And if there's any reference about that

Unknown:

in Facebook, because we have never I know that we don't claim

Unknown:

what we should claim. And now that I'm starting a business,

Unknown:

it's even more important. So it's really

Cat Ford-Coates:

a question that that you should probably have

Cat Ford-Coates:

with an accountant, and or an attorney. And there are several,

Cat Ford-Coates:

several reasons. But yeah, that's, that's definitely

Cat Ford-Coates:

something you should be looking for is just speaking with a CPA,

Cat Ford-Coates:

and then a lawyer that's perhaps local to you, that can kind of

Cat Ford-Coates:

help walk you through based on your current situation and where

Cat Ford-Coates:

you are.

Unknown:

I was gonna say that the hardest thing for me was,

Unknown:

was to start spending money on an accountant that I can't, I

Unknown:

can't even emphasize how valuable I think that is, it's

Unknown:

probably four or $500, yours, what I spent was really that

Unknown:

much. And he keeps my tax in the street. Worried about it?

Nicole York:

Yeah, I just want to echo what Cat said, we could

Nicole York:

obviously put up some broad advice. But the problem is, each

Nicole York:

thing is going to be different depending on the town that you

Nicole York:

live in the state that you live in, and the country that you

Nicole York:

live in. So those things really do need to be specific to those

Nicole York:

areas, because sales tax you need to gather will be

Nicole York:

different, and the income tax, you know, laws will be different

Nicole York:

and all of those things. So absolutely encourage you to do

Nicole York:

exactly what oh, what cat and Jean said, and, and find an

Nicole York:

accountant that you can talk to because that's that's going to

Nicole York:

make a big, big difference. They're going to give you that

Nicole York:

advice on what can be, um, how much you'll need to be saving,

Nicole York:

what can be deducted all that good stuff. Ari raised his hand

Nicole York:

so I know

Ariel Schochet:

we could do one sentence I promise we could do

Ariel Schochet:

is do a session on how to choose that person, because that's a

Ariel Schochet:

real issue and source of real anxiety, not ruminated anxiety

Ariel Schochet:

but based on you know, horrible situations that people have on

Ariel Schochet:

themselves by not taking the right, you know, professional

Ariel Schochet:

financial services people to be around them. And we could talk

Ariel Schochet:

about a framework of how to, you know, what you need to know and

Ariel Schochet:

think about how to evaluate if someone is trustworthy and doing

Ariel Schochet:

the right, you know, working to the needs that you have. Yeah,

Ariel Schochet:

absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Alright,

Nicole York:

let's wait, I'm gonna make a note. So we add

Nicole York:

that to our business.

Bassam Sabbagh:

No, no, I was just gonna totally agree

Bassam Sabbagh:

because, you know, it's, it's, it's, we always want the answer.

Bassam Sabbagh:

But the worst part is, we don't know what questions to ask. So

Bassam Sabbagh:

when Eric talks about structure, it's really what questions do I

Bassam Sabbagh:

need to ask to be able to either choose somebody, or when I

Bassam Sabbagh:

choose somebody, you know, am I educated enough to know what to

Bassam Sabbagh:

ask or what to wear?

Ariel Schochet:

And also, and also what controls to have in

Ariel Schochet:

your own life in business to prevent, you know, you getting

Ariel Schochet:

in trouble and scams as well? It's all part of the thing.

Nicole York:

Yeah, absolutely. Okay, I'm gonna make a note and

Nicole York:

make sure we add that to the business section. So that that

Nicole York:

is something that we cover.

Unknown:

Yeah, this is a totally foreign world. It's like

Unknown:

speaking a different language for me. How do I I don't know

Unknown:

anybody like that, you know. So thanks.

Nicole York:

For sure. Absolutely. Alright, guys. So

Nicole York:

make sure if you were taking notes, go do that stuff. Look at

Nicole York:

what a healthy relationship is. Define that success for you set

Nicole York:

goals, get educated, make sure that you're checking in with

Nicole York:

yourself, schedule those dates on your calendar, put a reminder

Nicole York:

on your phone or your watch, or whatever that you use, build a

Nicole York:

framework, so that you can actually see those goals start

Nicole York:

to come to life, automate what you can, so you don't have to

Nicole York:

worry about it or thinking about it, it just becomes something

Nicole York:

that happens all on its own. And next week, we're going to start

Nicole York:

getting into the framework of business of how we need to be

Nicole York:

setting these things up of what we need to be keeping in mind, I

Nicole York:

have a whole slew of notes for what that structure is going to

Nicole York:

look like. So by the end of the year, guys, we want to be able

Nicole York:

to have a really solid understanding of how to put

Nicole York:

together a business that is going to work for us or how to

Nicole York:

alter our current business structure so that it does work

Nicole York:

for us. That way, when we go into the new year, not only do

Nicole York:

we feel super confident in what we've built, and in our ability

Nicole York:

to start making those systems work, but we have a really

Nicole York:

fantastic resource to begin referring folks back to for when

Nicole York:

we discuss business, if it's something they have not dived

Nicole York:

into yet, we will be able to say, hey, go back, check out

Nicole York:

this module. You know, here is our discussions on business

Nicole York:

building from the ground up. And hopefully that'll be something

Nicole York:

we'll be able to share with folks as well and point them

Nicole York:

towards those things. So if you know somebody who needs to get a

Nicole York:

good understanding of what building a business centered

Nicole York:

around the creative field art or photography or whatever, if you

Nicole York:

need if you know people who need that information, please, please

Nicole York:

guys, can you share this with them, let them know that we're

Nicole York:

here, let them know that we're going to be doing this so that

Nicole York:

they come and they can get this information firsthand. Of

Nicole York:

course, they'll be able to access the recordings when

Nicole York:

everything is done. But they won't be able to ask questions

Nicole York:

that are specific to their situation, which means other

Nicole York:

people like them who need that information aren't going to get

Nicole York:

it. So the more we can dive in, the better. So let folks know

Nicole York:

that we're here. If you haven't joined the Facebook group yet,

Nicole York:

please go up, click on that come share your resources, share your

Nicole York:

knowledge with each other. This this really is about all of us

Nicole York:

growing together. And just as a reminder, we do still have

Nicole York:

mentor sessions open. So if you want to be able to talk to Kat

Nicole York:

about business and get access to that brilliant brain of hers,

Nicole York:

you can do that on the artist forge.com If you want to get

Nicole York:

with some on posing and lighting for maternity or other things

Nicole York:

like that he is there. Becca is letting folks know how they can

Nicole York:

get better in Photoshop and in the production stage of how to

Nicole York:

build these stories. If you want to know more about storytelling

Nicole York:

or visual literacy, if you want to get your portfolio reviewed,

Nicole York:

you can come and chat with me so please go check out the artist

Nicole York:

forged calm besom has a really fantastic article up right now

Nicole York:

about non negotiables and that's absolutely something that you

Nicole York:

can bring into your money relationship as well. Like

Nicole York:

paying yourself first and putting money in savings should

Nicole York:

be a non negotiable. So go have a read of that fantastic

Nicole York:

article. And have an amazing weekend guys go have fun, relax,

Nicole York:

do something amazing and hopefully we will see everybody

Nicole York:

back here bright and early on Monday morning at 7am Mountain

Nicole York:

Standard Time that is 6am for well it's not standard time

Nicole York:

anymore Is it is Daylight Time. Disgusting. So we'll see

Nicole York:

everybody at 7am Mountain Time that is 6am for the West Coast.

Nicole York:

9am for the East Coast afternoon for our friends overseas Have a

Nicole York:

great day go make something amazing.

Matt Stagliano:

Thanks again for listening to this live clubhouse

Matt Stagliano:

discussion moderated by all of us at the artists Forge. We hope

Matt Stagliano:

you found the information useful and that it helps you gain a

Matt Stagliano:

little bit of insight as to how you work on your craft. For more

Matt Stagliano:

episodes, please join us each weekday on clubhouse or visit

Matt Stagliano:

the artists forge.com and go make something incredible

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About the Podcast

Morning Walk with The Artist's Forge
How to Critique Art
Learn how mindset, creativity, and visual literacy will help you think like an artist so you can create work you love and build a career that matters; bridging the gap between technique and art.

About your host

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Nicole York